Sunday, 14 February 2016

What Really Happened at VUT?

Certain things we can never talk about in public, perhaps.

Other things we can.

Before I spoke to Tony Milone, I got a call from her sector.

This conversation was clearly heard by someone else, who I was sure could only be one of Shirley's friends, one of them. I actually thought, back then, that it was the telephonist (I think that it was this one who was always after George Hannah in our room. I was usually the only person there when she visited to get to know about him, and I was always working, thanks God. George once broke his arm in the property of one of his lovers. I accidentally heard him telling someone about all that because I was in the room, and I was in the room working, as always. I wonder if it is possible that it was the same woman, like if this one, of the property, was the one who was always after him in the room and if this woman was the telephonist. He kept on saying that he was a Christian, but, for some reason, partly to do with his attitude, I thought that he was Islamic). 

I told nobody that I was going to see Tony, not even Bradley.

When I came back from the conversation, however, Shirley wanted to go on her own with me for a walk, but we always went with other people and I much preferred that way because she always bothered putting a few younger people with us and she was much older than me.

The only reason why we were together, me and Shirley, was because both wanted to exercise a bit during lunch time, I believed. I found nobody else to exercise with and, having Bradley at home, I would obviously not choose doing that with a man, like obviously as for my beliefs. I would only accept doing physical exercise with other men if we were not living together, I didn't have a boyfriend, and things like that, like normally. I definitely thought it was all about the exercise, never about anything else.

That day she pressured me quite a lot to get to know what I had spoken to Tony. I kept on thinking about what I could disclose to her without getting any more problems, since she was just a secretary, but she seemed to be extremely well connected. She then literally dragged me by the arm and obliged me to speak to Alladin Zaydeg. I think I am sure that is what could never have happened, for I was visiting Tony to precisely get advice on what to do. Florica seemed to think that Shirley was against me due to her attitude toward her some day when I was speaking to Shirley. She seemed to be trying to tell me not to have any conversation with her, to at most tell her about my achievements at work. 

The only thing I thought she could understand, and she was trying to talk about my work affairs for long, was the story with Florica, so that I only talked about that. I said one thing or another, and I never referred to the actual sexual assault, since at least in Brazil this is taboo, like it is probably the Country where the largest amount of violations of this type happen, not sure. In Brazil, that would never be addressed by anyone else and I would have to cope with all the loss on my own. I was however after advice from Tony also in cultural terms. The main topic was not that, but my professional future in general, since those things seemed to form a parallel mass.  In Brazil, intellectuals do not give conversation to secretaries either. I got these manners from Grace College, when I once shared something about my private life with the cleaners and thought they were actually very understanding and did try to help me giving me some cultural insights. I then decided that they were intelligent people, people that I could converse with, which was already my expectation in terms of First World because I had gotten really well impressed with the simple people in the USA as well, the whites, when I was there. I think I actually always wished for treating everyone with equality and for loving everyone just the same. Some could call that immaturity, but the thing I was really passionate about was finding a place where everyone was truly equal in terms of at least a few things, since we obviously will always have lots of differences that are beautiful and wanted. I had a lot of pity of my grandma's maids, for instance. I did want to connect more to them and make them feel more like humans or something. I also got horrified with Anna Fillipecki and the episode with the so fine doorman. I really would like Anna to think that his life was worth the same as hers. 

All I know of is that I would, later on, spot both Florica Cirstea and Sever Dragomir getting out precisely of the complex where Tony Milone worked. It was close to lunch time and I was going to have my lunch or something. I then saw Sever in panic, grabbing Florica by the arm, and pushing her to the side so that she would hide somewhere. That was at least the second time I was seeing both walking inside of VUT on their own during day time. The other time, they were both coming from the streets. I think I am sure Tony was threatened by both Sever and Florica that day in the same way Tony Sofo was threatened when showing my first analytical results to him. Tony changed completely and seemed to start attacking me instead of helping. Before that date, however, I thought she had helped a lot. For instance, I got a new room and a new supervisor. I finally succeeded in leaving Bradley's apartment because Cameron said he loved me, so that that gave me strength to move. I do think she had a share in that. I think I am sure Sever thought I had not seen Florica there when he pushed her. Perhaps I was wearing sunglasses or my eyes were down or something. I had this manner, of lowering my eyes when seeing professors or academic managers in Australia, as a sign of respect. With Sever, I actually feared him too, so that I just tried to avoid confrontation of any sort, even visual. 

I believe Judith Cook was also threatened by Sever, either directly or indirectly, say through Tony. Even so, obviously and trivially, they could never have chosen their own security over mine and I could never have been offered as a victim to anyone else, and I am sure I was. I also think that Trish Morgan was friends with Judith Cook somehow and so was the young girl who scared me to death when I was walking on Fitzroy Street as soon as I moved to St. Kilda. This girl grabbed a mobile phone and started saying out loud, "Gani, Gani, she is here". Next thing I know is that when arrived home there was a van parked in front of my corner and Gani had just threatened me by saying that he was going to grab me and Bradley, put us both in a van, and take us to the bush with him and his friends. I could see that that van was associated with that girl, but, even so, we do get worried about all. I now think that Judith Cook was always a psycho, as Elaine Martin had insinuated. So, Gani does not show up and they do themselves, basically, as it seems to happen all these years, since four out of five attacks that I suffer come from women, like at least and probably more. For instance, I have just received a very nice man in my little apartment for the purposes of having it cleaned. He has been nice and friendly to me at all times. Today he came with what he called his mother. I still tried to converse with her, but the woman was pretty much intractable and nasty to me. I only told of Gani's threat to three people: Judith Cook, Bradley, and the VICPOL. The VICPOLs told me that, in Australia, it was not a crime threatening people. It was only a crime actually doing something. I will never forget their words, since, as I have already said in my blogs, they seem to avoid giving information to the public at any expense, and that was really solid information. I had never seen that girl in my life and she was fat, just like Judith Cook. She was also white and native, just like her. Gani's circuit, as he himself said in his threat, was formed of males. As far as I knew, so was Bradley's. In this case, there was only her. To make it worse, that was right after I let her know about it. 

It is also true that that woman, the one who claimed to be Italian and appeared there as the new secretary of Neil Barnett, the one who was responsible for all the fuss at Charnwood Road, place to where I moved, could only have been put there by Judith Cook, since only with her had I conversed about having Italian background and the woman approached me through Shirley saying immediately that she was Italian. That was right after I spoke to Judith. 

Judith also changed the cars on my street, the message on them, so that she knew all about those attacking me and their crimes at that stage, but, like Tony Milone, she would never ever release any piece of vital information to me and I would lose everything on earth, my most priceless and perfect years, absolutely my every civil and human right, for more than fourteen years in a row in First World Democracy because those two monsters, Tony and Judith, would never ever ever, not even for a second, do what they should and give at least basic vital information to me, information that I bothered requesting directly from them. I tried everything I could and it sufficed that they told me that, hearing in real time what I told Trevor, were the Brazilians and I would have saved my entire existence by simply never going back to Brazil and assuming the only thing that could be true, that all these oddities appear because of Brazil and their marginals, not because of Australian native people. It is obviously Brazilian minds behind all I endure on earth since that end of 2001, it could be nobody else's, for everything is irrational, goes against their own Country, their own institutions, their own people and race, and is simply destructive to those who are good and perfect, like that is all I have ever seen Brazilians, especially cariocas, do: Destruction. They are realistically experts only in one thing, which is indeed ruining all for everyone who works hard, who truly deserves their life, their beauty, their standing, and everything else. Brazil for me means injustice, cowardice, disloyalty, and parasitism in highest degree, absolute disrespect for conventions of any sort. It would have been over, and I would have gotten rid of at least the Brazilian marginalia in 2001 at most it were not Tony and Judith. I still hope human kind creates sense and people do get to become responsible, also legally and formally, for what they do to others. These two women are responsible for tons of criminal deaths all these years, on top of all my losses since back then, and all the losses Australia has got by now, which include an AUPOST that is fully criminal. I feel that they have absolutely no shame. Each and every time I tried to contact them, that was definitely my certainty: That they had no shame and felt no guilt. They were still absolutely ready to do infinitely worse, and have done, very unfortunately. all these years. 

By the way, I did conclude several times during all the years of my martyrdom, that all the rules that applied for Brazil ALSO applied for Australia: never trust authority, keep to yourself all you can, never treat different people, from different levels, professions or others as really equals, etc. It is a shame that all that listening over happened with my call at VUT. I do think that, without that, Sever would not be at Tony's to threaten her, and that is what I think he did. If he never goes there, I would have solved all my problems through that woman, I believe. 

I don't really know who sent Florica and Eva Stenzdur to my new room at VUT with the intentions of causing problems to me, but I believe Tony spoke to a few people and, because of the conversation with Sever, assumed that Florica and Eva were my friends, like I really don't think she could assume that from my conversation with her. I actually think she told them that I wanted to be with the native men and Eva Stenzdur claimed to know them, which is something she should indeed be expert in, as for all I had seen, which included wet hair in the refectory when arriving with Neil Diamond from the street, according to her from a conference that nobody in the department but her had been told about. Because of that, she went there with Florica to guarantee that Shane would think that I was after one-offs instead of simply fellowship, perhaps relationship, but never affairs or one-offs. Shane, for some reason, believed what they said and did think I could do that. Confusion was established and Tony then was convinced that my team was the overseas men, which is why she then came and told me to be with Rogerio, I now believe. That far, however, she was telling me that Rogerio and Leinha were attacking me in Australia following requested investigations. I believe Tony did lots of things she could never have done and some helped me, but others destroyed me and led to all this. One of the things that destroyed me and kept me going for other people, beyond her, was the fact that she never answered my most fundamental queries. She seemed to want to say that Sever's English or way of speaking troubled me, when nothing of that made sense or was really important. This thing of speaking to other people should obviously be preceded of my authorization of disclosure and interference with my affairs in such a way. As far as I know, now from working with different departments of the Australian government, that is a rule by default: That we do have to authorize them to do these things, like we first authorize, then they do. She also had a talk with Priest, in my humblest. The consequences of that I have already mentioned. My main complaint was against women and she would then have put more women over me or the same women in a worse way over me, basically. It does seem that it is all about splitting me from men, but men formed my only interest. It also seems that it is about creating infinitely many situations in which I am locked with women, like absolutely all these years, all the same. It is all precisely the opposite to all I wanted, asked, and it all opposes frontally what I told her was my worst problem, which was dealing with female harassment over me in Academia. Besides, men seem to approach me since then as if I am ready to have sex or to marry them, regardless of who they are, so that all the part where we relate as friends, and start like that, or we are simply community, is dropped beforehand, just as it was when Eva and Florica influenced Shane in 2001 in that room, with me catching just the end of their 'conversation' around him back then. With this, I am never ever helped by the only people who could help me in this Country, and those are precisely the men. Even the postman thinks I can have sex with him because, for instance, he finally let me have one letter, believe it or not. 

I don't know, but I wish they knew that the way to please a woman like me is realistically serving her to the best they can, like that would be their only chance of becoming my friends, which is the only way I would be interested in ever becoming their partner. On the other hand, I wish they knew that I am an intellectual and I have never even dated someone who did not have at least an undergraduate. Perhaps accidentally I picked Edson and Marcelo Silva in Brazil, for instance, but all my other boyfriends were of my educational level. The amount of time those relationships last for is also meaningful to understand what it is, like it went for at most three months or something like that. I like conversing, basically, and I cannot really stand men who cannot understand what I say or who cannot converse in a logical way with me, like putting argumentation to reinforce his points, and things like that. 

I infer that, all these years, the same process took place, and that is obviously what made me suffer so much atrocity and never find not even one offer of witness' letter inside of the own Australia: A prostitute from overseas has approached each and every man I had contact with before they speak to me and influenced them in the same way Eva and Florica did at VUT. I must also say that I think I am absolutely sure Eva and Florica do women and have done each other during day time and work hours at Eva's house. That is not only because of being sexually assaulted by Florica, even though that should also be a final proof. I actually believe they were all, absolutely all of them, lesbians, like they may do men, like Patricia Petersen does, but they also do women and perhaps prefer them most of the time. It is all very shocking because they then worked for the government and actually engaged in obsessive thinking, that they would still change me into 'one of them'. I still remember, with lots of pain, the board I saw close to RMIT or my address in Middle Park all of sudden, when I was already sharing a room (against my will) with Joanne Kelly: Come out to play. I swear to God that I am so heterosexual that I could only imagine that referred to me literally going out at night and I am so naive that I imagined that they meant having fun. I then did try to go out at night a few times, since Bradley himself was doing that, along with others. I was then chased by Islamic men who would talk about my relatives, say Bradley's name, and things like that, very unfortunately. Sometimes I had native Australian men doing weird stuff to me, and this all the time before I go to Brazil, believe it or not. 

As another point, even the so few men I accepted having one-offs with in the period of my martyrdom, and they were about at most ten, had to converse with me quite a lot before that. I was always moved by God's feelings, so that I really do my best to relate instead of simply having a one-off. I actually have a lot of difficulties with relaxing and being with strangers in my intimacy. Three of these guys only took me to bed because we had a lot of alcohol before that and, even so, we conversed quite a lot before having alcohol together. I really disliked all. In compensation, I did fall in love with a guy in Sydney. I think his name was Alex. He was from England. We only conversed for perhaps four hours before we had some intimacy. It is just that there was a lot in common, I reckon. For instance, I think I am sure he had at least an undergraduate. It has to be true that we reach higher analytical levels through furthering education, if nothing else. I was a top researcher, actually better than Priest and Dragomir at least in one of their points before this all started. It has to be hard to impress me in a conversation. I sincerely would not try to relate to myself in an intimate way if I were a baker, a cleaner, a deliverer, a cab driver or anything like that unless that were an accident in my life, say I am suffering crime and that is clearly temporary or that is supposed to go for as long as the crime lasts. In my own case, I now endure fourteen years of absolutely atypical and unbearable life because of the atrocities. Almost nothing that I do now would be part of my normal life, and this for all these more than fourteen years. Thanks, Judith Cook and Tony, Bradley and Trevor, but I dream every night that time is back to 2001 and I know what I know now or that you simply never existed in my life, just like the South Americans, this already before I come and taking away my mother, father, grandmother, and myself. 




Friday, 12 February 2016

Question: What do You Have that Makes You Different from a Prostitute?

Today I was confronted with this question. Somebody asked me to make a point then.

Well, in a sense, we are all equal; we live in democracy, we may have the same skin color, we probably have human shape, etc.

In another sense, we are extremely different: I have an important and noble purpose, my life is here to serve what we called God, which is the collection of everything that is not harmful and is still helpful. I am clean, I can be trusted, I can be believed, and I am socially important. Besides, I respect my body and my brain, my health and my bed, my home and my feelings. I also have those. As a consequence of respecting all that, I respect other people's and other people.

I can converse, I can be a good and even nice companion, and I am a person one can count on.

The prostitute would have to be unclean, even if her body and intimate parts, such as mouth and vagina, look clean. The uncleanness comes from not respecting her body and the life of others, since they will accept lying down with married men, for instance.

Their purpose is not noble, rather the contrary: They exist to make sure men do not evolve, do not improve, so that if a man is being punished by his partner and is being denied sex because, for instance, he was violent with her or her kids, he could be being disciplined by the wife, assuming he likes having sex with her, of course, by being sexually rejected. The prostitute then approaches him and he will never be fixed. This is just one situation.

They are also harmful in general, not only in the situation of the man having a partner and being with them. The problem is that they would have to be unscrupulous. If they are unscrupulous, not only will they be able to go to bed with the man of another because, say, he is giving them money, but they may also lie to the government, to the police, and, with this, make an innocent person be arrested, for instance.

They would probably say I love you to a ton of men, and perhaps even women, so that their I Love You is worth as much as their vagina or mouth. The man who believes them is doomed to even kill himself as a consequence.

They cannot be good mothers because they cannot have a true family: They live from destroying the family of others.

They may pass diseases very easily and this is part of being unclean, so that the man may carry that disease to his faithful wife, for instance, who is now going to die of AIDS with him or without him, since he could be just a bearer. The wife never did anything wrong and she will pay for what they both did, which was the wrongest as possible. With this, the prostitute is now an assassin and so is the unfaithful husband.

Nothing that she says can really be believed, since her job is making men believe they are special, they are the only ones, but, as everyone knows, they are as good as a dildo or something and they are all the same. With this, her information is good for nothing, since it cannot ever be trusted on its own.

She probably does not have any skill that matters, that can get her a job that be not that of prostitute. She probably cannot converse about any topic, especially in a way to enrich the conversation, so say adding something. With this, she probably cannot entertain any intellectualized man. She will then be boring outside of bed and only diseased men can keep on fu….. forever, is it not? They would have to eat, to go out, to work, etc. Well, when they do that, then she is not as good as the housewife, who also lives in one of the poorest worlds as possible, she is much worse, since she would probably be thinking of being with another man. With this, disease, unreliability, etc.

The man needs her because he had a car accident, he is far from any police station, he only had those credits, for that call, and she will not answer or will not do what he needs because she is with someone else. Because of that, he will die bleeding.

Nobody lives for the catastrophes, but the truth is that any intelligent person would like to prepare themselves for such a time so that they have a chance.

The man’s clothes and shoes will unavoidably, together with his bathroom, toiletry, and things in general, be used by the other men, so that everything that he had that was brand-new and even smelt brand-new may be thrashed away when he comes back, for instance, and may also contain traces of smell and others. He may effectively rub himself against a towel that has just wiped the sperm of the other, so that he has just had homosexual sex by second-hand contact.

The other man may become violent with her, may be a criminal, and his entire property might be vandalized, with his kids or mother, or whatever and whoever else, when he comes back, and they may also be all dead.

Besides, there is no price for that sort of intimacy, of the type only I know you, but, if she is a prostitute, not only she is really plain, and easy to get to be known, but whatever the man knows about her will be a common place, and perhaps will be part of the knowledge of all his male friends, since if she does that, then she will probably expand the business sooner or later.

She will not have any skills to pass ahead to any kid or younger person, and she will also not add to his intellect or universe in intellectual terms, so that he will become dumber by relating to her, not more brilliant.

It is a choice, as my mum would always say.

You know, you can stop by the beginning, and never even do the on the mark thing.

You can run the entire marathon and at least reach the end, having then that group spirit: At least I participated, everyone was there, etc.

You can actually win.

When you win, you can be first, second or third, for instance.

The thing is that we all have a choice every day of our lives.

We should choose things according to what most matters to us: If we believe in eternal life, in the existence of the human soul or even in closest friendship allied to sexual satisfaction and a joyful heart, then we choose love, relating, and no prostitutes, as well as no one-offs; we prefer that. If all we believe is right now, regardless, like a fu.. might be worth our life, the life of our relatives, those we love, etc., then we may choose one-offs, we may prefer that. We obviously know human history and Mata Haris, so that we may actually lose our kingdom, our race, our people, our educational standards, our scientific standards, and everything else from choosing one-offs over love. There should perhaps be some statistics over wars and battles. Perhaps, if they ever put them all together, all the known ones, we will find out that more of them have been lost for one-off  or unclean men than for actual field confrontation.

If we want to be brilliant, we have to be with God, we have to be pure in our hearts and aim at a higher thing. In this case, only love can help us. Love creates alienation that is similar to the alienation created by the drugs, but it is healthy alienation. Love creates the energy of life, which is similar to Adrenalin, but it is more positive, more connected to productivity and to adding social value.

If we want to achieve maximum, also financially, we need to have our head in place, and therefore we need stability. Stability can only be given by a loving relationship, a true family, even if that is composed of only a man and a woman. In fact, it is much easier to get wealth if you only have two.

A loving relationship, if respected, will make us evolve in spiritual terms to the best that we can, so that we will become mature, we will have wisdom, and this in highest degrees. With this, we will be superior to other people and will be sought after for advice, rather than being left depending on it. Love makes us strong when it comes to confront others, human kind, problems, etc. True love make us solid, since it is two, but it is one.

One-offs or uncleanness makes us weak and vulnerable.

I don’t know, from any perspective, it is obviously way more logical to exist by the heterosexual couples and inside of a society where true love, and true family, reign. That is why I say that people from Academia would have to be judged ALSO in terms of their sexual choices, their intimacy: If you choose unwisely, you are obviously destined to have worse performance, to commit serious mistakes.

God’s World is logical if we define it as the Common Core of the Bible. I think I am sure about that.

As another point, it all depends on what type of royalty you target: You cannot be a king of love or sex if you choose to have one-offs or uncleanness because those who accept those are easy. There is no difficulty to be overcome, but we decided that nobleness comes from being superior, not mediocre. You can only be a king of love if you can impress the most selective of the women and you can only be a king of sex if that woman is actually crazy about you sexually speaking, right? In the one-offs or uncleanness thing, the woman is the queen, nobleness is obviously with her, for even being what she is, such an unlovable thing, she made you give what is most valuable, most intimate, the container of your soul, to her. When you do that, you bow to them, all is inverted. God lost. You lost. She won. It is definitely as if we have the devil and you and you have just had your soul taken.

As incredible as it may seem, if you choose to have sex with a prostitute, that is the same as signing under your incompetency in both emotional and sexual terms, perhaps even social and intellectual: It takes a lot to become a partner of people like me and to therefore be accepted in their sexuality and in their daily lives. 

Truly relating to others implies sacrifices of extraordinary nature, like someday you will not be able to sit on your preferred chair because they will be there before you are. You must then sublimate your desires and conform, change that into something positive. If you don't relate, so say you pay for sex, then you simply tell them to get out of your way because you really want to sit on that chair. 

Basically, truly relating implies exercising, on a daily basis, your skills in management and business, since lots of things come as if they were a trade, such as the chair thing.

You will have to make some concessions, so say you like having a shower when you wake up, but not when you go to bed. The person may argue (and they would be right) that you need to be clean to be to their side, not the opposite, so that you would have to accept logic, if nothing else, and have your shower when you arrive or just before going to bed. It won't feel good if that is what you are used to do, yet it will be the right thing to do, so that you will learn how to live for God and therefore in God's World, where almost everything is sacrifice, sublimation, and generosity. The beauty is that you only have to live like that with that person, only one, to prove that you can do it, so that you will be a king very easily: All your exams will happen inside of that couple. 

If you choose to relate to everyone in the same way and perhaps use a prostitute for sex, then you will probably never get to that depth of sacrifice, sublimation or generosity, what will basically make you be farther from God, and therefore from eternal wisdom, most perfect insight, etc.

If you are fully aware of what you are choosing and you are really choosing, then you should be happy as a result. Because you are happy, everyone around you will be happier, since happiness is contagious. Because you are happy, you will be a better person as well: more productive, more helpful, more generous, and more responsible. In this way, you will be more socially useful. Because you now have attachment, you will care about the life of others, since it suffices that you care about her life to care about our world, our Science, our health, our education, our kids, etc. You will now be a proper adult and you will not be harmful to your society, Country, and world anymore. Your soul will be preserved and will be kept in God's World, where all is preserved and protected to best.




Monday, 8 February 2016

Looking for a Proper Academic Position in Australia

I had been offered an academic position already by the time I was working at SENAI/CETIQT. I unfortunately could not take that one because they killed our doorman and I felt really involved in the story, as I have already described on a blog somewhere. On the other hand, that was just one more thing: I actually had always planned to leave Brazil, this since I am really really young, actually five years old. I never wanted to remain in Rio de Janeiro for any amount of time. I was actually dragged to it by my mother, as I probably have already said on one of my blogs too.

Rio de Janeiro is a place of marginals: All we have is people who are malandros and therefore who think that they are in this world to take advantage of others. They may say they love us, they may look as if, but, if they were born in Rio de Janeiro, we can be sure that won't last for long, even if it seems to be the cake deal (what I nowadays classify as Barbie and Ken's case for very special reasons). Basically, they are into betraying people, into top disloyalty, when it comes to intimate relationships. It is a place where they dispute over who betrays more the other, basically: Wife or husband. 

I hated Rio de Janeiro and cariocas before I ever visited the place because, as I told mum, this when I was nine years old, I had enough sample of their natives to be sure that it was worth doing anything not to be there. We actually had two cariocas in what I call Our Small Family. 

They are monsters: They never had any group spirit, regardless of what type of group we consider (nation, men, women, academics, etc.). All they can think of is today and now, basically. They are the most unscrupulous people I have ever had contact with in my life. They literally are able to kill father, mother, and little sister for the money those have made out of their work or luck. 

I was stretching my stay in the place because my father had just started to buy an apartment for me and him to live in when he died and Our Small Family imposed the load to me: I was the youngest, had no kids, etc. They decided that I was going to take care of the place whilst it was not paid for, what basically meant that I would be paying the rest of the installments in the name of the family, like out of my pocket, and I would still be taking care of it as if it were exclusively mine. I think it was missing some twelve years of installments when he died (1991). That far, we were living in Tijuca together, but the property was a rented property. We were finally becoming friends, which is what I really really missed: First of all, having a father, and second having a male who I could get true advice from. 

My father was a superpower in himself: He knew a bit about everything, basically. I think there is no sport that he could not master or practice, quite sincerely. His intelligence was multifaceted and he could realistically enter anything he wanted, which must be why I am so talented myself when it comes to intellectual matters. 

He was the person who made me wish for having good marks at school, for instance. All that seemed to matter to him was that my marks were good and that I knew all I could know. I still remember him putting me to sit in the middle of his legs in the car he was driving, with me unfortunately, but wisely, thinking of a lot of crap because of my mum and grandma (like he is going to do something sexual or whatever), and me finally, after relaxing, for succeeding in, for instance, never having my body touching his, enjoying. I simply adore driving because of my father. He was the most magnificent driver I have ever met: He could drive anything. He had ridden motorcycles, old and new (like the very simple models, which they call scooters in Australia and the most advanced, with automatic ignition), he had driven UTEs and sports cars, etc. Oh, my daddy was REALLY REALLY someone. 

I am sure, and I did tell Trevor Skinner that, in that end of 2001, that if my really Cool Daddy were alive in that 2001 and were, let's say, some twenty years younger than he was, he would have gotten me my two PhD titles (one from UQ and another from VUT) and my academic job, on top of generalized apologies and that, per se, would have saved my entire life, head, and body, believe it or not. 

Oh, well, I think he was the only male I have ever met who really praised my intelligence, who really listened to me and appreciated my advice, my tokens of wisdom, insight, and all else, and by appreciating I mean valuing them to the point of returning something, being grateful, really becoming my friend. I see myself absolutely always contributing in the most meaningful way as possible, and quite spontaneously, to the life of everyone that deals with me and I realistically never see is gratitude, quite sincerely. Rather the contrary: I have been enduring the worst world atrocities for more than fourteen years as a thank you token for, for instance, having basically saved the life of Antonio Newlands, being responsible for his transference from a horrible and purely administrative sector to an almost purely intellectual sector. This man attacks me with really serious crimes now for more than fourteen years in a row and he had already attacked me in Brazil after he got transferred. This is just a selected example. That is not what is missing, unfortunately. I proved to Priest, with one sentence, that his Ontological Paraconsistency was inconsistent, and that was in the year of 2000. Instead of being applauded, I got punished. It is never ending. He however did not write about it probably because of me and my arguments. 

All I chose in life was to hopefully deal with only men because I think women are coward, criminal, parasitic, and stupid since I am five years old. I cannot really stand their decisions, ways, and thinking. My own mother disappointed me a never-ending number of times and she was, by far, the most brilliant woman in Brazil. It starts with going to Rio and abandoning our dear home in Ipanema and it ends with letting Angelo Ricci be involved in my life in Australia. I never had real fun with any woman, I think. I had some moments of entertainment with Julia Sawyer, and it was fun, but that was like absolutely exotic. I don't know, they just don't have the same brains. We were at SENAI/CETIQT, for instance, and we had jokes we all laughed at together. It sufficed that we told Anna and it all would kinda die, like she really had a very different sense of humor or so it seemed. I can't stand them. I saw Tony Milone in 2001 and I wanted to run away, for, first of all, her first name was Tony and I only went because I thought it was a man. You see, two of my worst complaints were against lesbians, or women who would probably say they are bisexual, but, what they really like, in my humblest, is women. The last thing I wanted was speaking to a woman. Out of politeness and respect for the laws, since I thought it could be discrimination refusing her, like for some reason, I stayed and I then endured the consequences of speaking to a woman and not to a man. Basically, I think I am sure nothing that happened would have happened were it a man. First of all, there is an ethical code that is mandatory for the profession of Psychologist and, even if you are a counselor, in case you offer psychological advice, you are obliged to obey the code, in my humblest. There is nobody who does not  know that they cannot keep secrets from us and act as they please in what regards our destiny. Yet, this woman simply did whatever she wanted and, fourteen years passed of her primary violation of my basic rights in that relationship, I still have no damn idea of what she actually did, despite having tried every possible avenue, thinkable and unthinkable (council, herself, FOI, all you can imagine). The minimum thing we need to survive on earth, to have a chance, is obviously information, and there is no way on earth people can deny information about ourselves when what they do may destroy us forever, which is precisely what has happened to me. That woman was absolutely obliged to tell me what she said and to whom. Her actions are to be blamed for the death of quite a few people since back then and I myself could easily have died several times during all these years. They have a different brain, prone to basically do sh.. that is like unimaginable. As I keep on thinking, women like her created prostitution, promiscuity, table manners, etiquette, and all that destroys us, since this all has been created by women. 

Anyway, realistically, there should be a way in which we don't pay for their mistakes in their professional performance in case they commit them, but I am paying for those with my only life, career, and body for more than fourteen years in First World Democracy. I am also paying for the absolutely unwise choices of my mother, who, despite being always on her own when raising me, was told several times that my aunts, for instance, the two worst ones, most evil and harmful to me, were attacking my basic rights. I begged her to converse in a very serious way with them, and I am sure she never did that. Because she never did it, these women are responsible for all the atrocities I endure since at most 2003, when of my so unfortunate visit to Brazil. 

I think I am absolutely sure a man would never do what they do, would never have started it. 

Oh, well, that said, I am left wondering about what has actually caused my subtraction of the academic m├ętier. In my observation and careful scientific or logical analysis, it was actually Judith Cook, the Equity branch, as I said on many blogs. I cannot tell for sure what they did themselves and how they moved people in the way they did, but I am sure they are the cause for all. 

Graham Priest was used to give me professional reference, since I asked him about that in 2000 and he said yes. After I spoke to Tony Milone about him giving me too much unwanted attention and too little wanted attention, which is actually the definition of harassment that I most like, she did something that ended up making him become at most a provider of personal reference, since he offered me a letter containing a personal reference in that 2001 after I asked her to intervene and kindly change his orientation, so that he could be giving me the attention that I thought I still needed and would stop the attention that I was disgusted he was giving me, which culminated with him telling me he had split from Pattricia in that end of 2001 via e-mail. 

I then, after going through an extraordinary sequence of crimes, civil crimes, of the RMIT academics against me in 2002, crimes that I never formally denounced for several reasons, got in my idea once more what was in it in that end of 2001: I actually should need to get at least one paper with Priest, so that the rest of the academic community would think we had no problems and everything went normally. That is the only reason why I was seen writing to Priest in that end of 2002: I was trying once more, this time using a new style of discourse, to get him to produce a paper with me. Nothing worked, unfortunately. That counselor, Tony Milone, seems to have broken our bond forever and she actually made him go from best friend's sort of mood to mortal enemy's, to the mood of someone who knows of all crimes that I endure and does nothing, absolutely nothing, to help, this even in terms of giving me a chance of fighting. 

I love Science, I adore what I was doing in 2001 at VUT, and that is my normal life, without Academia, like that is what I always did, thanks to also my father, grandmother, and mother, who were all very connected to knowledge, Science, learning, etc. I said that was all for me when I spoke to Trevor and that was the only reason why I was kinda voluntarily (but not really, lots of crimes) subjecting myself to several things in that end of year, including accepting this Trevor in my personal life, my intimacy. It was all priceless: my contact with Priest, a top researcher, considered great genius of modernity by plenty, my contact with Sever, another top researcher, considered great genius by plenty, being at an Australian university, where they had all resources I had always dreamed of but that Brazil would never have, and all the opportunities I had dreamed of my entire life. 

I offered about seven original ideas to that Trevor, on top of all I did, which included making him company in public (escort's stuff), and those ideas were all worth millions of dollars, such as Deal or No Deal, and I never needed to offer not even one, for they had absolute obligation of saving me from Brazil, Brazilians, and any sort of aggressor, regardless of where they are from or where they are located, but, my passion for my Science, my Academia, was that huge. I offered all that to have a PhD title and an academic position, this even if I did not have merit on that occasion, as I told Trevor, since all I really needed was the job to be able to be well from there onward and I was sure one was owed to me in Australia since at most 2000. That was just justice, equity, and that is the place from VUT that has generated that damn Trevor. 

I don't really understand anything, but I got to the point in which I think that they are all really criminal: They seem to know very well of all crimes I endure and realistically do nothing to help. At this stage, and for long, actually since 2005, I don't get offered not even a tutorship position in Australia despite my efforts. I am stuck with the place, given that Brazil/Brazilians are attacking my rights massively from Brazil all these years and coming back there would be suicide. I cannot go anywhere else because I do not have citizenship in any other Country and I think marriage is something too serious to become a tool of removal from one Country and settlement in another. More than anything else, I do not have not even a way to communicate with anyone from any other Country that be not criminally sabotaged to the highest levels since that end of 2001, sabotaged by these Brazilian marginals plus a few local ones. I don't get my post at a rate of 95% since 2005. Without communication lines that work, it is really impossible, but I still have the problems I mention here, such as no paper with Priest to say it was all OK, no paper with Asha, and other problems (my CV is extremely long, this already in 2001, and I find it difficult to clean it myself, like I really do not like CVs and have resistance, first of all, but it also keeps on increasing and being hacked, it is all electronic, etc. On top, when I pay for services, and they have to be Australian for one reason or another, all criminal, they are all incompetent, so that I trust them and apply for jobs, but I then, all of a sudden, get wrong pieces of information, wrong English, etc. Basically, services to the same level of those of the counselor, the equity woman, and their police). 

I know that people cannot commit crime against others, not even of the type telling other people about our privacy, and telling things that we never told them, imagine making sure we do not even get information about where conferences, workshops, presentations, and others are happening in the university that is close to where we live? That is however what is happening to me for long. 

I don't know, all I can do, realistically, is the best to ignore the fact that they all know even from watching the crimes I endure and do nothing to help or stop them, and then apply in a distant way or talk without showing friendship, since it all became a hostile environment. I am sure I can still work, and could have been working all these years in Academia, and just working inside of it would have given me extraordinary power to fight, power that I cannot dream of for more than one decade. For instance, I would definitely have reliable fax, telephone, and postal lines. I would never have missed the GW12 or the WSEAS. From where I see it, they employ even prostitutes: Women who simply had sex with them when they were married or whatever. They know nothing, they don't have any true pertinence to Academia, and they have an academic position. I have dealt with a very large number of academics who had basic mistakes in the most basic pieces of knowledge of their discipline, so that the mistakes that I eventually committed for enduring the worst world atrocities since that end of 2001 cannot be a justification for not giving me an opportunity. 

I think that we can always do something, regardless of how impaired we may become because of the nature or amount of crimes we suffer, so that there is realistically no excuse. I can certainly mark, for instance. I have applied for that with the Adelaide University for a few years now and got nothing. It is like generalized crime and they seem to guarantee that I have no chance of fighting against the atrocities I endure now for more than fourteen years in democracy. 

It is all very shameful.

I have just been to something I was accidentally calling workshop, and Dr. Eagle calls it colloquium instead. I am there trying to do the best that I can for the second time, but, sincerely, I don't know what else to do because Academia for me is work. I can accept that I have wonderful results only according to my own head, like they all think it is all crap, but I cannot accept that none of my extraordinary results so far is something admirable. Some of them are pretty incontestable, such as the change from two to one in the dimensions of the definition of both Convexity and S-Convexity. There had to be a limit to be disloyal and criminal in Science, quite sincerely, to basically then be unethical and unprofessional. Not even a mention?

They can perhaps say that I finally became unethical because I now talk about almost everything in the open, but they would have to accompany that with we are all committing extremely heavy civil crimes against her for more than fourteen years, so that the ethical code is actually not valid in her case: She is excused to breach ethics in Academia until she stops suffering crimes that we ourselves caused, namely John Shepherd and Kathy Horadam

I now know that they could have accused me of breaching ethics in 2000 because Hyde was actually doing research on The Sorites Paradox, having published about gluts and gaps, for instance, perhaps as an intro to something about the paradox. On the other hand, I trusted the words of Priest, who was a researcher of about 100 papers in the Philosophers' Index and still a HOD, my supervisor, and a man who had English accent. He said, in that 2002, that Hyde WAS NOT a researcher of the problem (Sorites). I have no means to know, was just starting, and obviously should trust his guidance. The relationship between supervisor and supervised has to involve trust: I was obliged to trust him because of some tacit ethical code between  us. I am not breaching ethics if I don't know what I need to know to believe that I am, is it not?

Hyde sounded like a creepy and insane person after he got convinced that I solved The Sorites: He left the teaching room, where we were all together, me, him, and a few students, went to the corridor, practically dragging me to it, and then said that if I solved it, then it was going to take my lifetime to write my solution because he had spent his entire life studying the problem and he had found no solution for it. The man is a freak and scared the crap out of me: I took that to be a death threat, quite sincerely. I then thought he was simply crazy. 

Many years later, in seeing his research with other eyes, and in seeing it, since I had seen none of his work in 2000, just at most the work of others according to his interpretation, I understand that I may have looked unethical because he did not accept being my consultant or supervisor or co-supervisor and I insisted in basically working on his problem. We all know that the problem is not his, but we must respect his research and his time to do things, so that if he had started something, I could not be simply entering that whilst working at UQ, like I needed his permission, right? On the other hand, Priest had also worked on the problem, according to the own Priest, and he gave me permission somehow. It is unethical and it isn't, and therefore it isn't. My theory had nothing to do with anything that Hyde would ever agree with, and that was clear since the beginning: He really wanted to stick to mathematicizing language and I said that was not OK, basically. How much a query can belong to us in research? Priest had himself worked on the problem. 

They can never accuse me of missing ethics with Sever, since Real Analysis and Geometry were not part of his topics in 2001. Now, after many years of me enduring the worst world atrocities, Sever is, in my point of view, very unethically, working also inside of Real Analysis, and he is doing that probably because I told Trevor that that was the right area for me in that 2001. He was not doing that before. He was just working to the level of Calculus at most. His main subject was Inequalities, I believe he even created the area, and S-convexity happened to be part of a few inequalities he got interested in. My interest however was refined to the own S-convexity, and, by the way, it was the own Sever who asked me to present a talk on the topic, a talk entirely prepared by me, in that 2001. It was also his fellow, Tony Sofo, who became my supervisor after I spoke to the counselor about my VUT issues, that asked me to produce original results on S-convexity (and so I did) in that 2001.

In 2002, the paper I got from Horadam and even the so few lines of guidance were all supposed to have come from John Casti as a favor. I do think that that is what happened. This would be for me to guarantee I had a virgin topic and could keep on going on it if S-convexity and The Sorites were dry, since I had a small allowance for a mistake in calculation from my share back then, when I spoke to Trevor. Well, if things were what I asked, there is nothing there that belongs to Asha or Horadam, even because the work, once more, was all mine. Even so, I did offer, don't be fooled, to each one of those (I offered to each one of my supervisors) a share on the papers I produced on my own, this out of ethics (perhaps tacit) and courtesy (minimum thank you). As for the project with Shepherd, that SOB was supposed to simply do his job and fix the crap that Asha and Horadam had done. He never had to give me any other project to work on. Due to his absolute incapacity to hold the title of Postgraduate Coordinator, however, he never addresses the issues that I had with Asha and Horadam. I saw them both speaking to him and therefore ALSO asking his help. He did help me understand his Bubble Problem, and that was something that he did that was different from what all the others had done, most of them having no idea about everything, and he did help a lot in terms of what to do, so that he was a proper supervisor. All of a sudden, however, the guy goes crazy and decides to interfere with my personal life. Blyth had already told me to remain in NZ when I go there to get my PR, like they are both insane, to the least. He tells me things that are absolutely inappropriate and sudden, such as that he can cook and has five kids. I have nothing to do with their mental illness, as I told Trevor, but I am sure Australia, a First World nation, could never have subjected me to their mentals, basically, especially if any crucial part of my life was going to depend on them, such as my degree, my chances in life, and my job. A little medical evaluation, a little psychometric test, and I would never end up losing my perfect career, life, and body for his insanity. 

I came back from Brazil and had my entire thesis revised by Liu, who did it all out of generosity. Liu did his work. I then showed to him. Liu was extremely qualified in the area and was Asian, not Brazilian, therefore something they already accepted as a person in Australia in 2002. He basically acted as if that were nothing, refused to accept Liu as part of the solution, and said he wanted to be the main author in the paper I showed him, which I had produced on my own and despite all his crimes against me, which were going on for a few years at that stage, and some of them involved my personal life. My passion for Academia was so enormous that I frequently selected not to remember the crimes they committed, ignoring them all, and even trying to restart, given the absolute absence of authority for law and order, like they are there in theory, but, in practice, both in AU and BR, they are even more marginal than the marginal we are trying to protect ourselves against or denounce, very unfortunately. I did not disagree, like I thought that if he wanted to be the main author, that was actually a very small price ot pay in exchange for at least getting one title (those were four different experiences that far, all with PhD by research in record time from my end, and no title). The thing is then that I needed to guarantee that he would give me some title because things were going in the way they were going. I then said, OK, but you are then going to give me the title, right? At least Master's (my work was to PhD level ALSO with him). He said that no, not even an Honours. Oh, then, it couldn't be, right? I did insist in the way that I could, but he then asked me to withdraw from my course in the way Cerone had done in 2001: A very threatening way. I could not risk suffering any more crime, especially on a voluntary basis, so that I did make sure I told everyone who should be an authority all that I could and I then withdrew. 

Where is my absence of ethics? Would it not be precisely the opposite?