Saturday, 17 June 2017

Me as Me

I just would like to say that I really have no problems with explanations about what people have done to me, this nowhere in my existence. I really don't care about why they did what they did unless I am stuck with that, as it is the case for now 16 years plus, like, since the authorities for law and order really do not work for me, I am left with the marginal and the only thing I can think of is that if I find out how their mind works, I may have a better chance. I am what is perhaps called factualist: I deal with facts and from there onward. As I told Trevor in 2001, I just needed my PhD title and job or even one of those. Never go back to Brazil and be protected, at any expense, against Brazilian people, especially relatives and ex-boyfriends. I really really did not like them. I really really did not trust them, and so on. The main thing in my existence, now that I am able to write even books about parts of the facts of my life, was realistically trying to get rid of South America as a whole: culture, people, race, and all else. I always thought everything about South America was an aggression, a violence. Now that I write books about it, and I am currently writing about precisely violence suffered there before I come to Australia, I can see that what most hurt me was disloyalty in competition, as well as parasitism, and what I most chased was people like me, which would then be non-dependent, creative, and respectful people, basically productive, socially useful, and with Christian beliefs. May God help me save whatever South America has not yet destroyed at some stage. It is now 16 years plus of extra destruction of my person by South Americans, this time in First World and after I begged in the humblest way as possible to be protected against them. I tried more than 8 world authorities and the entire Australian TV press in that end of 2001. I really really feared South Americans and was terrified with any possibility of having them back in my life, especially in my intimacy. I knew very well their destructive power. The only reason why I accepted being together with Bradley Paul Neal, a person who in much resembled South Americans, as I told Trevor in that end of 2001, was protection against South Americans, since I saw no worse evil. It is quite a shame the way I am betrayed by the entire human kind all these years. They seem to have managed to destroy the so little I had managed to save from their race, people, and Country in that 2000, and the little that I absolutely adored, as told to that horrendous man in 2001. As I now keep on remembering, some protestant people say, God is my father, therefore nothing will be missing. The Bible says that after the curse passes, when God finally forgives us, our blessings come back. May heavens and hell unite to get my Marcia Hope. At this stage, I sincerely hold lots of hope on Hollywood, Tom Cruise, and accelerated cloning with transmigration of the soul. Please keep my mother alive for that purpose. May God bless. 




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