Monday, 24 April 2017

Rights to Not Answer

Today it was the thousandth time that I went through a situation involving places of birth: Someone I don't know, who I never plan to have contact with in my intimacy, asked me, out of the blue, where I was from. I did answer (my own way): From Australia. He insisted: Where? No. You have an accent there, etc. 

I was buying a coffee at a coffee shop in one of the hospitals where I went to help people communicate. That person was the person to whom I gave my money in exchange for the coffee. First of all, I think we are all free to not answer any question, asked by anyone else, even police: As they say, whatever you say or do may be used as evidence against you. That actually means that not saying is safer than saying. Nobody is obliged to answer queries, first of all: Not even a teacher who is getting paid to only do that. They may be fired, but they still have the rights not to answer. People are obliged to cope with that: If I answered from Australia, and that was already against my will, the will of a person who never wanted to create intimacy with the person who was serving her at that coffee shop, he had to accept it, I am sorry. It is rude and impolite, on top of aggressive, insisting beyond that. First of all, why asking such a question? It comes across as prejudice straight away. It creates inconvenience, and it can only make the person who is being asked that feel awkward. Why hurting people? To make it worse, some people speak their mother tongue at home and may keep the accent even being born here. 

That was already an observation I had when speaking to Trevor in that end of 2001. Of course, above a certain social level, people just don't ask this sort of thing, especially in this way: That is intrusive, inconvenient, aggressive, and disrespectful. You have to give the coffee to the person. You want to make a conversation? Fine, but you should definitely start with what is not personal. 

After I said from Australia and he insisted, I silenced, since I already did not want to answer the first question, imagine a persistent thing about the same theme? He then went ahead and put his eyes on my card, then saying I can see from here Portuguese. So, you must be from Brazil. Now it is corporeal aggression, in my humblest. There should be limits for people to make conversations with others, and that should definitely not be on the menu, quite sincerely. Were I on my normal days, so not suffering any sort of crime, in a place I considered friendly, I would definitely report that to the manager. That is simply incorrect attitude. 

Like this man, many other people, especially low income earners. Once more, nothing more inconvenient and aggressive than asking a woman if she is married or single, demanding a title. I have already written about that: It is illegal in Brazil and it should be illegal everywhere. Why titles? Everyone is someone. I love Doctor, Professor, and that is perhaps OK, since it has to do with our profession, like as long as they give us a choice between having a title in front of our names and not having that, then it is OK. Miss, Missus, Mistress, etc., however, is definitely not OK. That is the same sort of aggression, of violence. This all should be illegal. I am still shocked with the amount of things they get for homosexuals and black people versus the amount of things they get for women: In the USA, if you say niger, that is a crime. That is just their skin colour, quite sincerely. It is either for all or for nobody. Asking where I am from should be a crime. Unless I think that is friendly, it isn't really so. People are frequently pushy and that should be illegal. Cops could have these privileges, but not normal people. There is only God.




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