Sunday, 1 November 2015

A Really Old Problem

In the end of 2001, I was in shock for, amongst others, being stalked as I went up my new street, Charnwood Road, which really pleased me, by a red Toyota. Inside of this vehicle there were two AU blokes of young age, both unknown to me. I assumed they were undergraduates from the university I was working at that year, VUT. They said stuff to me, but I find it hard to remember exactly what.

They went accompanying me (and frightening me quite a lot as they did that) up to the door of my building, which was on the very top of the street.

One side of the car had been painted with the word Ethic and the other side with the word Ethics. I immediately thought that it was as if a foreigner had said it to one side and as if a native had said it to the other side.

That image still haunted me recently because I am still suffering atrocities that derive from those initial criminal actions nowadays. For instance, I get at most 5% of my post where I currently am in Australia. Everything comes via post, including job opportunities. Post is everything to us, is it not?

Other things are way more valuable however and those ALSO have been stolen from me since back then.

Anyway, I tried to register a denouncement against those two and their car at the police station in Melbourne, VICPOL, that end of year. VICPOL refused putting that in their records, even though this time I was prepared and had pictures of the car, which was parked on one of the lowest corners of my street on the said date.

I ended up criminally, and very violently, forced to go back to Brazil in 2003, and I really never wanted to have any more contact with any South American that be not at most my mother and myself for the rest of my life as soon as the airplane took off in that 2000 or as soon as it started flying to Australia.

I went all the way down there and I still had no clues about the ownership of the vehicle or what it meant. I had questioned Judith Cook about it, already sensing that she was involved. I then told her that ethics and ethic was very heavy for people from research like me, that that impressed others negatively, that if she was playing or something that she used another word, so say Rian, because of Rian Aldridge, an ex-fellow from IBM. Almost next day, if not next day, the painting on the car changed from ethics and ethic to Rian, believe it or not. In this way, I was sure the lady had to do with it. Even so, I begged her to give me details about the car many times and she refused to do that. She still gave me a call in 2002 to basically laugh in my ears with her entire set of fellows. I had been told that she could be a bit mental, but the person who said that decided that perhaps I should see her in the end, so I went.

The car looked like the car in the picture below and had a plate that read NOI916.

Its red was way more impressive, however (lighter and brighter). 

I came back from Brazil, had asked questions to as many people as possible in both countries, and I still knew nothing about who did that.

I suffered way more crime in Brazil than I was suffering in Australia before going to Brazil, things having started with the theft of my Toshiba notebook inside of the bus terminal. A gang formed by a black carioca woman who worked at the Internet kiosk, the owner, and the black carioca cop whose station faced the kiosk, which was inside of the terminal and surrounded by cameras, stole it. 

I came back to Australia ASAP and that was in 2004. I had taken a leave of absence from RMIT, so that my job and scholarship were waiting for me. Shepherd did not accept Liu's work on the thesis (he had revised it with all care on earth and had some suggestions in terms of wording in a few places) and refused to evaluate it or pass me. He then imposed that he signed his name on my paper as if he were the main author, but he wanted to give me nothing in exchange, not even an Honors Title. He did not want to serve, check my thesis, or anything, and still refused to take Liu as a co-supervisor or consultant. He asked me to withdraw after I insisted in having Liu in our team and only letting him be the main author if he let me have one title in exchange for my extraordinary efforts under his supervision, what was happening since Asha dropped her project with me. 

He was already attacking me with civil crime together with Bill Blyth before I go to Brazil, so that I decided to simply do what he was saying. Back then, I was already enduring about six years of crimes of academics against me. Because of the car, I imagined that they were probably accusing me of something, that perhaps I was not the only one to have accusations against the other and offer even material proof at least sometimes to support my claims.

VICPOL would still not accept registering my denouncements about NOI916 in 2004, so that I moved to Sydney. In Sydney, their police finally accepted registering the denouncement and taking note of all. They also uploaded the picture of the car that I had. 

Different from Brazil, they told me that I had to be able to guess the name of the owner of the car for them to simply confirm. In Brazil, they would reveal all to me. I tried a few names, such as Neal, Abdulah (he said he had a car like that), Plant, and etc. Nothing worked.

The police station where I registered my denouncement, Ultimo station, was shut down.

That remained in my mind until recently because I was still getting crap from quite a few academics. For instance, I wrote to the HOD of Philosophy of CUNY to ask him to let me give some talks on my solutions there and he refused to give me a chance by saying that they did not have any programmed events. In Academia, we create space when the person is visiting, regardless of who they are, so that that is all abnormal, and one could easily say criminal. I was from Australia, had gone all the way, and etc.

I then thought and thought much harder recently and got to the conclusion that that car probably belonged to Richard, an owner of a private tuition business in QLD, a fellow from one of my philosophical disciplines at UQ. I forgot his surname, but, until recently, I had one of his business cards. I think it was something like Krista. 

He was a gypsy and we had conversed a few times. He seemed to be interested in me on a personal level. I was not interested in him on a personal level, but let myself converse with him to see if we could collaborate in something. I could be interested in teaching for his business, for instance.

Patricia Petersen once met me on her own in the postgraduate room in my free time, postgraduate computer room, and I then let her know that I had a boyfriend that I liked very much, Danny Gil. It was only me and her and it was our spare time when I said that. She told me she was a Sexologist and I had some spicy question for her that had to do with Danny and that is why I decided to tell her that.

I also tried to learn about her book from herself, but she could tell me absolutely nothing. She told me that it was available in the library or something. 

I meet academics and I am always an academic when I meet them, I suppose. That far, I saw her as an academic, since that is how she was introduced to me.

Well, someday we were together in a pub because of a conference somewhere, and I think it was the one in Newcastle, where I presented my solution to The Sorites. My solution was a bit disguised because of Priest's request to me. 

It was me, her, and a lot of other people from our Philosophy Department (UQ). Richard was close to me for some reason at the table. We were conversing about something that related to my solution or to Philosophy, whatever. Patricia then turned to us both and said, all of a sudden, as we stopped to pay attention to her, who had just turned her attention to us, that I had a boyfriend. I did not understand much, but also had nothing against it, since I really wanted nothing personal with Richard and I am faithful to my boyfriends. She then said nothing else, like nothing else before or after. I and Richard were left wondering for a while, but kept on going with whatever we were doing, which I think was eating lunch or dinner. 

Richard was going to record Hyde's presentation on the solution he supported in terms of the Sorites Paradox on the date I presented mine at Newcastle or the day before. I then asked him to record mine too. He said he thought that was unethical. I recently remembered that he had a red car like the one in the picture, that he showed it to me, and that he said something to me that involved the word ethics, so that it was probably his car on my road that day. 

In this case, what is meant is something I cannot guess, but it obviously has to do with whatever Richard thinks. Perhaps he did that so that I remembered him, what did not happen in time. Shockingly enough is the impact that this all might have had on my career since then: I actually put the picture online in order to try to get answers. I was very confused about what was ethical or not in that end of 2001, since I thought almost everyone was being unethical with me and I did not see them thinking that they were doing that. 

It is all a shame: So many years wondering and feeling a bit guilty for imagining that the First World had different rules as I see, for instance, happening with Translation and Interpreting, and it was Richard, the gypsy from Queensland, who put the car there. All he meant is that he could not help me, more than likely: He PREFERRED Hyde or something. He thought it was a fight or something. 

I remember telling him, because he was a native, that Hyde did not want to supervise me not even in the condition of consultant. Yet, he seemed to love The Sorites, had an entry on the Stanford Encyclopedia, and etc. 

It was soon after I told him that that they both came up with Hyde's presentation. I think mine was already scheduled when they did that. 

He was also the one to tell me that he was going to record Hyde's. I then thought it was a disloyalty with me to highest degree, since I was the one talking about the topic with him and etc. 

Here, with my buttons, he might even think that he was protecting my interests, like perhaps making sure everyone knew Hyde's choices, so that he would not steal my theory or something. 

I would not have a clue: Poor Marcia and Australian plus Brazilian mysteries of which she is a victim, about which she can always know very little, and not enough to save herself from their consequences in time. 

Richard, if you are alive and out there, please manifest yourself. If not, someday I will know all for sure. May God help me, so that it happens whilst I am still alive. 

Obs.: I have never been inside of Richard's car. I know his car in the same way I knew Gani Abdulah's car, from him pointing at it and saying it was his. We conversed very few times, perhaps five at most. I was actually with him when he apparently fell in love with the woman I was sharing house with whilst I presented at the conference. I was actually one of their greatest allies, like the go, go person. I really see other human  beings as fellows my entire life before this all started and I very unfortunately also saw everyone as equal despite my clear intellectual/moral superiority to quite a few since early. I also know I am extremely superior to almost everyone else in terms of wisdom, for people go after me for advice since I am five, people like my own mother, much older. I really can keep myself cold at all times and in any situation and definitely will if I am officially with somebody, which means I do go with them in the open, for instance, to places. I am the sort of person who if I decide for someone, then I so did and there is no point in betting on someone else until they disappoint me to a basic level, so say they have intimate contact with someone else. I definitely don't feel I can trust my men, so far, to the level I can be trusted. One of my biggest searches, as I told Trevor in that end of 2001, was this, like after my achievements and a people plus place of peace: I really wanted someone like I saw Rogerio de Oliveira being with me in our first two years of intimate relationship. He was always including me in all conversations and putting me before everyone else at all times, as it should be. I don't think there is any chance he betrayed me because we both seemed to really cry for missing the other on a daily basis at that stage. We even had transmission of thought, which is something I had with my mother and grandmother too. Time went by, he changed, did more drugs, chose the other side, betrayed, and we then had to split. I think it is waste of my resources even moving for a man who is not going to respect me to the levels I respect them. Unless I am sure I am respected to the heights that I expect, I sincerely do not even cross a block for him. Maybe in the situation of extreme violation of human rights that I endure since end of 2001 I am seen doing things that are very atypical, but it is just not me as me, it is a me', derived from the infinite amount of violence I am receiving from the environment and everyone else, especially authority for law and order, since back then. I do think I am priceless in all senses in a world of prostitutes, basically. I really give myself and I also think that just my intelligence, the information that I hold and can give, is worth the world. I would not be violated so completely and still be alive if they were not stealing my original ideas on an almost 24/7 basis, believe it or not. That is how creative and original I am. I am also incredibly useful and do from swapping light bulbs and fixing outlets to trying to play prostitute, basically, at home. I still like being the boss and won't withdraw from that position if necessary. I rarely commit a mistake of judgement and have infinite wisdom to give. Enough of advertising my personal services here. The whole point is that I really really don't even look to the side if I am in a public relationship with somebody and, for me, public means going out with the person, kissing, hugging, holding hands, showing intimacy somehow. They can get naked, rub themselves against me, offer me the world, and, if I am in what I think is a relationship and I believe there is any chance on earth it will work, I swear to God they will get nothing. If I do go with somebody else, however, I will tell instantaneously that I have done that and I will probably think it is over. It seems to me that who put that car there was Patricia Petersen and that is why Judith Cook knew all about it. I just have to say that Patricia seems to be attacking me since 2000, but I was not really sure about it, like she could also be thinking that she was helping, as I told Trevor in that 2001. If she is saying that I betrayed Danny with Richard, then I only have what to cry about because, first of all, I betrayed nobody and second it should all be at most about Academia, not my personal life, even though I myself do believe it is all connected and Priest could not possibly be married in the UK, as he told me he was, and have Patricia as his official partner in Australia inside of our m├ętier, Academia. In third place, I see nothing on earth that could justify violation of human rights of any sort, not even discrimination when serving people. I also saw Patricia with my very eyes cracking over Ashley, one of my postgraduate fellows whose girlfriend she knew. She did that in our postgraduate room, by the way. I don't know, but, before hearing someone who accuses me of breach of ethics, people should see if that person is really ethical and can do that. What else? To the record, I am so in love with Hamish since we had our pizza day at Unilodge that I really think of nobody else, not even thinking, believe it or not, and, whilst I believe that my situation may be guilty for whatever is happening, so say he is in a situation in which he has to pretend to be with somebody else or whatever, I really will have nobody else, believe it or not, for, for me, the possibility is enough and if I go for someone else, I really do. It all has to start with respect and respect for the feelings of others, for the wholeness of the other, and etc.




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